[sacw] The Bitter Lament of a Muslim Woman

[Harsh Kapoor]

FYI
(South asia Citizens web)
--------------------------------
18 December 1999
News From Bangladesh
Feature
* The Bitter Lament of a Muslim Woman
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The Bitter Lament of a Muslim Woman

By Jahanara Begum

"Allah Amader Kandte Dao!"
Allah, Please let us weep in peace!

--Jahanara Begum

Please, Allah, leave us alone to cry and weep in peace. From behind the
veil, beyond public gaze we want to cry till we cannot cry any more.
This is the only right you have left to us Muslim women, throughout the
Islamic world, where your laws are meticulously followed. The world
beyond is undergoing so many changes, so many evolutions over the ages;
year after year, new discoveries are being made both in the sciences and
philosophies, in the rest of the world, improving upon old ideas and
beliefs. But we are tied forever to the rigid and immutable shackles of
your laws, Allah. No one ever came forward for our emancipation. Unique
is our society! Men like Raja Ram Mohun Roy or Swami Vivekananda are not
born in this society. No Sharat Chandra comes forward in this society to
write an account of the volumes of tears that flow from our eyes.
Educated Muslim men like Badruddin Tyebji, Hamid Dalwai and others like
them have written on measures to stop the killing of cows but have
failed to utter a single word of sympathy for us, Muslim women. Abdut
Jabbar can write a big fat volume on the eunuchs--and on the castrated
in different Muslim societies--but he has nothing to say in our behalf.
Syed Mustafa Siraj was at least honest when he said that the Hindus can
fearlessly write on the injustices and other inadequacies of their
social system, but we, the Muslims, are afraid to criticize the defects
of the Islamic society. Nargis Sattar has started to write a few
articles on the subject of Islamic marriage laws and we were so hopeful.
But that hope too, once again, has been taken away from us.

More than a hundred female lawyers had demanded women's emancipation in
the streets of Lahore in Islamic Pakistan. The heroic' Pakistani
policemen attacked the female lawyers with sticks and batons. A Muslim
female member of the ADMK party of India had raised the subject of the
emancipation of India's Muslim women in the nation's parliament--but
then, all the progressive members of parliament remained silent on the
issue, for no one wanted to offend the fundamentalist mullahs and lose
the Muslim votes.

Oh Allah! the political leaders and their supporters in this land are
very peculiar. They are just like the eunuchs who used to live among the
innumerable young and beautiful women of the harems. All the lust,
passion and sexual desires that overtook them, were of no avail for
after all, they were eunuchs and so quite helpless. Our political
leaders are exactly like those eunuchs.

These leaders talk in high-sounding, noble words such as freedom',
non-discrimination', secularism' and many other beautiful words. But
alas, they do not have the means to apply a single such word to the
day-to-day life of our Muslim society. And so, the crying and weeping of
the Muslim women go on unchecked; from one age to another. Their tears
are symbolized by the waters that cover three quarters of this planet.
What a horrible, inhuman and illogical existence we have! Leaving his
hundreds of concubines behind, the octogenarian Sheikh from Arabia comes
to India to marry' a Muslim teenager. The news is flashed in all papers
but behold, not a single political leader even registers a protest. Not
a single mullah or maulvi declares jihad' or holy war on such goings-on.
On the other hand, the mullah presides over these "Muta Marriages" that
last for only a short fixed time.

What an unbearable existence for us to live and survive among co-wives!

Innumerable children, unhealthy surroundings, poverty and lack of
education have made a mockery of our social lives. Even goats and cows
live better than us. The frequent fights among the co-wives, the pulling
at one another's hair are so degrading! And then, God forbicl, if the
miyan or husband gets into the fray, then we get beaten like a beast
until we cannot take it anymore. And after the beating, to make it even
more degrading, the miyan takes his other wife into the bedroom and
shuts the door into our face.

If there is the slightest shortcoming in the wife's attention to the
physical needs of the miyan or husband, then woe be to her.

She goes on suffering forever from an acute uncertainty, and intense
anxiety. The sword of Talaq' or divorce could come down on her any
moment. The slightest inattention eoulo provoke a divorce.

All is in the hands of the Muslim husband. Just the pronouncement of the
word Talaq' three times can move the earth from under the feet of the
Muslim wife. The consequence?

Cheap labour or prostitution. The little children suffer from lack of
mother's love, a sense of awesome insecurity and an unhealthy
environment. If the children manage to survive then the society is
burdened with more beggars and criminals.

Admittedly such occurrences do take place in other societies as well,
but then they are much fewer in number and, what is more important, in
other societies such a state of affairs is not allowed to persist in the
name of their religion', while in our society the mullahs preach such
treatment to us women in the name of Islam'. The motto among us is:
Breed and profit'--take over the land by increased birth rate. And we,
the married Muslim women, have to bear all the burden of the entire
operation. That is why no one ever finds a married Muslim woman who is
not nursing her own baby or is not pregnant.

They are with a child all the time. They die young.

We observe the lives of Hindu women who live near or around us. What a
sense of purity, security and trust surrounds their family lives! Where
is the hope of chastity, of purity in our lives? If the Muslim husband
comes to regret divorcing his wife, if it happens at all, he still can
do nothing to redress the situation. Allah, your laws of the shariat'
prevent re-marriage with the ex-husband. The mullah will get into the
act, get the woman married' to someone else and she has to consummate
the marriage' for three days and three nights, and then, and then only,
she can re-become pure and virgin'. If the new husband divorces' the
woman obligingly, then only the previous and now repentant husband can
re-marry' her. On the other hand, if the bride happens to be a good
woman, the new husband may not wish to divorce her and then trouble
starts between the two men. Fighting breaks out culminating in murders
in many cases. Such is our life, Allah! Who should we go to with our
sorrows and complaints? If we rebel, then we are physically beaten and
punished in accordance with the laws laid down by you. If we complain,
then we are accused of being hypocrites or munafiq'. In every other
religion, respect is accorded to chastity, self-control and purity. But
not so, in your religion. Oh Allah, the only privilege that we have is
to cry our hearts out.

There are many educated' Muslims who are not unaware of all this. But
they do not protest for they too are out to have fun at our expense.
Those Muslims who are truly liberated, abandon us and do not want to
concern themselves with our problems. It was with us in mind that Kazi
Abdul Oclud once said that in the last 1400 years, Islam has not been
able to light even a small candle eradicating darkness from human
civilization. Abu Syed Ayub spent his entire active life singing Tagore
songs. He married the Hindu woman Gouri Dutta and lived a free and
healthy life like any other Hindu. Mohamnled Ali Karim Chagla did the
same. Vice President Hidayetullah, political leaders like Sikandar
Bakht, Dr. Jeelany, Syed Mujtaba Ali too, did the same; in fact any one
from our society that has gone up in civilized life away from our
miseries, pains and problems moved closer to the society of the Hindus.
(We are not sure about Ghagla, but Humayun Kabir and Sadiqu Ali married
Hindu ladies.

-Publisher). Only we the abandoned ones are left behind in the dark
prison controlled by the mullahs and the maulvis. We just cry here in an
endless pain. No writer or reporter writes a story on us or makes an
attempt to fathom the depth of our sorrow. The Government of India gave
us the right to vote but denied us a healthy and peaceful married life
by perpetuating the Muslim Personal Marriage Code'. The Hindu Code Bill'
liberated the Hindu women but we still remain the victims of polygamous
practices. No remedy has been provided to prevent frivolous divorces in
our Islamic society.

Once upon a time we used to trust the Marxists on this score. The Muslim
women of Tazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan have found their freedom
in Soviet Russia. No Sheikh from Arabia can buy them. These women do not
spend their lives among innumerable children, unending pregnancies and
degrading fights among co-wives. They have meaningful lives to lead. The
mullahs do not have control over them. But here in our land, even the
Marxists are under the thumb of the mullahs. A Marxist like Mansur
Habibullah went to Mecca, became a Haji' just to please the mullahs. And
everyone knows that in his personal life, Habibullah does not care about
this religion. His life is like that of a logical Hindu. And so we were
saying Allah, you have not given us the slightest opportunity to have a
little peace, a little happiness. Your lack of concern for us is
eternal. In the middle ages, nawabs and sultans used to keep thousands
of women in their harems. Most of our days and nights then were spent in
weeping. Some spent their time in laying plots and some in profligacy
and unnatural practices. We were the fuel for the lusts of these
sultans. Interminable fights have taken place among brothers, between
father and son and among the nawabs themselves for us women. The chariot
of civilization, slowly but surely, has crossed many paths. Radical
changes have taken place in other societies and other lands. Even the
burning of the suttee', a terrible Hindu practice, has been eradicated
by social progress. The marriage of very old men with very young brides
that used to take place among some Hindus, following the Kaulinya'
system--has also been abandoned in time. Many bad social customs and
practices have disappeared in other societies. Even in our Islamic
society some good changes have taken place--but then these changes have
always been to the advantage of Muslim males only.

There is a villaye near Basra in Iraq. That village was well-known for
supplying eunuchs for the nawabs' harems. Nearly 60% of the young lads
who were castrated there used to die. This butchery has ceased today.
There are many Muslims like Idi Amin who have numerous wives but the
eunuchs are no more there to watch over the women. But for us, nothing
has changed. The men of our society are completely without concern for
their women. By granting a few property rights they seem to think that a
lot has been done for us Muslim women. What good are these property
rights when our marriages are scarred with an unending chain of divorces
and re-marriages? The Muslim law has, on the other hand, given rise to a
lot more persecution of Muslim women. If a divorced Muslim woman files a
suit for her property and alimony rights, then the Muslim court moves
very slowly indeed. In the meantime, the husband can get remarried
without any hindrance from our Islamic laws. The law of the land that
helps women of all other communities under similar circumstances is of
no use to us Muslim women because we are supposed to go by the laws of
Islam only and nothing else. It was Abdul Rauf who wrote in the Bengali
newspaper Jugaantar' describing the sorrows of Muslim women all over the
country but, alas, there was no reaction. A few letters appeared in the
press supporting the article and that was all.

But our Muslim leaders are very sensitive when it is a question of their
own vested interest. Muzaffar Hussain wrote from north India that the
Hindi movie Talaq, talaq, talaq' was renamed Nikaah' on the advice of
the mullahs. The mullahs said that to mention the name of the film to
their wives, the Muslim husbands would have to pronounce the magic word
three times which would automatically end their marriages. These are
funny men who are afraid to pronounce the word Talaq' but would do
nothing to eradicate the dreadful practice of frivolous divorces. Such a
great number of Muslim women lead a helpless and miserable life due to
this abominable practice of Talaq'. But then none of the pious' Muslims
worry about it.

The Islamic soldiers of Pakistan's Yahya Khan gang-raped hundreds of
thousands of women in Bangladesh. More than two hundred thousand women
became pregnant. A great number of these women later became insane. Only
Mujibur Rahman tried to help a little, but the rest of the Islamic world
maintained a complete silence. Khomeini's Iran is currently killing
hundreds of women. Their fault is that they do not support his rule. So,
in the name of Islam, these women are being butchered. Vishnu Upadhyay
has written about the incidents in the newspaper Aaj Kal' but then no
one says a word--the Muslin world is still silent. In any other society,
if a woman is raped, the papers cry out in her support, raising a storm
of protest in the community.

Islam means peace. To watch silently the persecution of women is perhaps
this peace. Such lack of concern for women has prevented all improvement
in our condition. No blessing or show of kindness from our angels has
been bestowed upon us and so, Allah, we are telling you once again about
our sadness. You are the master of this world and universe. You are the
one we are addressing our complaints to. You have denied us a happy
life. If we happen to be one of many wives of a rich Muslim then we
spend our lives in jealousy, rivalry and unending pregnancies. If on the
other hand, we belong to a poor husband then there is back-breaking hard
work for all day and one pregnancy after another as well. Wherever we
go, the sword of Talaq' or divorce always hangs over our heads. The
uncertainty and insecurity of our lives affect not only ourselves but
our children as well. They have no better choice and get into begging
and street crimes. You have seen the crowds of Muslim women and their
numerous children roaming around the Howrah station of Calcutta. That
they are Muslims can be guessed by the presence of the bearded mullahs
that hang around these women. The only concern of the mullahs is to
ensure that these women remain Muslims. They are not concerned with
their health, well-being, safety and simple humanness. And so, there is
nothing for a Muslim woman to look forward to. There is a lot of tears
to shed though. A lot of weeping that has no remedy. And so we are
crying out to you, Oh Allah, you have given us one and only one
privilege and that is to weep. Please therefore let us weep in peace and
leave us alone.

__________

(Jahanara Begum's email is: iqbalmumin@h... )